Saturday, April 17, 2010

that was then, this is now.

I used to be an angry, hateful liar. But when you live a life like that, you get all that junk right back. Hateful behavior and words create more and more hate-within yourself, and those who have to deal with you. It's a vicious ugly cycle... that for me was never going to end, until I realized that because I had been forgiven of so much, I needed to forgive everyone that I held negative feelings towards.

but that was much easier said than done...

I was given some really good advice, and that was to just pray for all those that I held anger towards. Not just pray that I could forgive them, but really truly pray for them like I would pray for my loved ones. It's a hard process that I'm still going thru. There are still some sore spots, sometimes I really can't pray for them, my flesh won't let me even if my spirit really truly wants to. Slowly but surely I'm finding myself loving these people, just waiting to see the work the God wants to do in their lives. I want them to be happy, I want all things good for them.

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 1 Timothy 2:1

I know I've said it before but my worst enemy is myself. I'm the only one who can really bring hate, or anger into myself, and it's a battle everyday to just love... I like to say that I truly do love everyone... I just forget that sometimes.

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." – Proverbs 10:12

1 comment:

  1. Oh Jordyn, I love this. Yes, at times I feel just like "my flesh won't let me even if my spirit really truly wants to."