In January my on-again-off-again ex-boyfriend broke up with me. It was something he had done many times before, and I took it pretty hard. (This dance sums it up better than I can.) I had talked myself into believing that we were meant for each other and that we would eventually get back together. I prayed for the Lord to tell me that he was 'The One', I was looking for what the truth was I was looking for a 'Yes'. I never got that, & the Lord knew I wouldn't listen if He said 'No' so He just told me to 'Not yet-keep waiting'. I was convinced I was waiting for my ex, but in reality I was waiting for my husband.
February started off as a very hard month for me. I was facing the reality that I needed to that boy go, that I deserved soo much better. I was completely broken so I clung to the Lord for safety & love. One week the depression I was feeling hit me so hard, that I couldn't function. I missed a lot of school that week, and I spent most of it just in my bed-not really feeling sad, but feeling more like I didn't know how to take the next step.
"Live through this, and you won't look back...
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save"
That Friday I went to school, and about halfway through I couldn't do it anymore, I left to go to the college group at my church that meets on Friday nights. That night (2/19/10) changed my life. When I got there they were already most of the way through the lesson, but I took as many notes as I could. Then when Pastor Steve was done teaching I talked with two of my friends, told them all about my lousy week, and I began to cry. When I had first gotten there I noticed there was some people I didn't recognize, a girl with wild red-orange hair sitting next to a cute boy. As I was crying to my friends I noticed him looking over at me, and I felt completely embarrassed. If you ask him, he'll tell you that at that moment he knew he wanted to take care of me, and protect me from everything that hurt me. That was the night I met my Nicholas. We began hanging out, holding hands, and telling each other secrets, but soon enough we were most definitely boyfriend and girlfriend.
There's not much to say about March, other than I was in a complete whirlwind-romance. We spent every possible moment together, falling more and more in love with each passing moment.
"it hasn't felt like this before,
it hasn't felt like home...before you.
And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way,
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,
I can't get my mind off of you..."
April continued much the same way. April 4th Nicholas prayed to receive Christ. :) We were getting more and more serious, as fast as our damaged nervous hearts would let us. Along the way we realized we were meant for each other, God had fashioned us in such a way that together we were perfect. So I started planning a wedding, and Nic saved up for a ring. & on April 28th we were officially engaged
May was just spent working, and planning a wedding, and being stressed out in general. Nic got to meet my extended family, and he fit in with them perfectly. I failed two of my classes, that I later had to retake.
June started off a lot like May-it seemed like it would be a fairly uneventful month. We just needed to keep swimming and planning and getting everything ready. Then Father's Day rolled around, it was a day that Nic was not looking forward to. It was his first Father's Day as a birth-father. So to help make it better for him I asked Valery to send me some pictures of Olivia, and I framed them along with some pictures that Nic had with her from the hospital. Later that day I was able to tell him that he was going to be daddy. He was instantly excited-I was in shock and incredibly nervous. The Friday after is the day I met little Olivia. It was so wonderful to finally meet her and her family after I had heard so much about them.
July was our worst month of the year. We were both unemployed, as we were trying to put together a wedding, and then we had to face the reality that we were having a baby. And through all that we had only known each other for about 5 months so we were still getting to know one another, and how we each handled different situations. We realized that a lot of trials were stemming from our sin, and we began to repent & seek forgiveness. It was a hard month, but the Lord got us through it.
August is easily summed up with our wedding on 08/10/10. This was a day I had looked forward to my whole life, and more specifically been planning it, agonizing over every little thing for about 3.5 months. I'm so glad that we had a super short engagement and that we were still able to get everything ready for our perfect wedding.
September was (of course) awesome. We were both working, and going to school. I had gotten all my pregnancy sickness pretty much under control. We celebrated Olivia's 1st birthday, and my 21st birthday.
October was a roller coaster of a different sort. It started out by us finding out we were having a boy! Which was a huge surprise because everyone thought we were having a girl, but as soon as Nic found out he was gonna have a little guy to wrestle with, & teach how to be a real man, he was more than thrilled. The next week I had to quit my job, and watch my entire class graduate without me. It was a very hard time for me, I felt like a failure, but I knew that I just push through for 10 more weeks. Nic didn't let me go one minute feeling bad about myself, he let me know that he was proud of me. He continued to support me through any bit of nonsense I faced. & he even dressed up like a lion for me :)
November was spent getting to know my little peanut even better. We celebrated his 1st birthday, and I got to experience so many fun memories of babysitting him. Nic and I continued to grow closer as a married couple, by sharing our struggles together, and sticking together when it felt like us against the world. We got to share our first Thanksgiving together, being thankful for each other and our little buddy on the way. Near the end of November I got to spend some time with my extended family in Arizona.
December was busy and wonderful. There were two big highlights: My graduation from UCMT and Christmas.
We made it through that insanely crazy year, and here go to 2011. I know this next year is going to be an awesome year for me! Next week is Nic's birthday, then our baby is due in a few weeks :) What a great start to a new year.
|Last pic of 2010|
|First pic of 2011.|
-Pray together every night.
-Deliver my baby naturally.
-Show more love, be less judgemental.
-Get out of debt.
-Stay close to the Lord, and be open to any work he is desiring to do in our lives.