Monday, March 14, 2011

100

 This is officially my 100th blog post :) It seems like a big deal to me, so I went back and was reading through some of my old posts from the last year and half-ish. & then I went back and read my old blog on myspace, I didn't post very often on it, but the stuff I did post I'm proud of. Looking back I may think I was being ridiculously silly for feeling and saying some of those things. But I was always honest.
I was complimented on my blog at church on Sunday, she told me I had a real gift for writing.
I'll be honest-it made my day. I try to take great pride in my writing, I used to think of myself as a writer... I had a way of turning words into something beautiful I wrote how I was feeling in a way that was creative but raw. My creative writing teacher from high school really helped me sharpen the way I wrote.  I used to constantly write poetry (that was full of teenage angst), short stories, & I even attempted to write something like a novel. That's all I ever wanted to do with my life-write & teach others to write.
I feel like lately my writing seems to avoid going anywhere too real. I'm all too aware of the fact that people actually read this blog, when it started out no one read it-but me. So the blog tends to avoid a lot of things out of fear of who might read it and what they might think. I have my journal that I try to write in often, I write much more honestly & personally there. & in all reality my journal seems to have the same song being played over & over, it makes me feel like a broken record-but at least its real. This blog will never get quite as personal as my journal, (but that's why I have my journal to write down anything & everything I deem important.) But I want to bring some of that honesty back to my writing that is public. I don't expect my writing to look too much differently but I want my intentions to be focused on being real instead of on who I think people expect me to be.

I feel empowered. I'm not going to be afraid of you anymore. I know exactly what I want to write about first. :)

1 comment:

  1. How is it that no one has commented on this yet?!

    I loved the lines:
    "Lately my writing seems to avoid going anywhere to real'
    "my blog tends to avoid a lot of things out of fear of who might read it and what they might think"
    "I feel empowered. I'm not going to be afraid of you anymore."

    So many blogs are written for the purpose of receiving praise, gaining attention, casting oneself in a certain light and it makes reality seem hazy. (My own private soapbox: I think especially for moms it creates an unattainable expectation of perfection.)

    Anyway, refreshing post. I'm excited to see what you are going to write about first!

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