I recently got asked this question on formspring:
Why do you write about adoption when you aren't part of the adoption triad?
I've decided I won't be able to write a response that is quick and concise, so I'll answer it here where I can fully elaborate.
I'm trying very hard to not take this question offensively.But since the very first time I blogged about Olivia/adoption I have received quite a bit of hate. I feel like people are trying to push me away, and make me feel as if I don't belong. I've always tried to deal with it privately, & not let a lot of people know how bad it hurts me. But the truth is, it's hurts a lot, the things people have said about myself and my husband, are often times nothing but malicious. I think some of it stems from the bias against birthfathers that I've seen time and time again. So I apologize in advanced if any of this comes off as being defensive.
First of all, if anyone is unaware this is the adoption triad.
When I was in fifth grade my friend Alexis' family adopted a little baby boy. It was the first time adoption became real to me, he wasn't just an orphan left on somebody's porch. His birthmother chose the family she placed with, and his mom was in the room when he was born.... & that is when I started to fall in love with adoption. Seeing how much her family loved this little boy, their mother didn't give birth to him & his skin was a different color but it didn't matter he was just their brother. I had no idea at that time how much all of that would mean to me, and affect the way I saw adoption.
One of the very beautiful things about the open adoption we have with Olivia is that members of her extended birth family, including aunts, uncles & grandparents can all be included in her life. Whether by sending gifts, reading about her on her family's blog, or even spending time with her when she comes to visit.
I may not be her birth parent but I am a part of her birth family.
Learning about and later meeting Olivia changed my life in ways I can't even begin to explain. That little girl means so much to me & I think unless you know me or are in a similar position it may be hard to see how/why I love her the way I do.
This isn't an adoption blog, nor is it a 'mommy blog', or... anything else really. Its those things and more because this is my blog of my life. I am never trying to offend or hurt anyone with the things I write. I'm just trying to share my experience. And I think I am extremely blessed to be able to say that adoption has played such a big role in that experience and I can't help but want to share that..